With the greatest joy came the greatest blow....
In November 2002, I gave birth to my one and only - Jake (he will hate that a) he is being mentioned on here and b) yes, that's his photo for you all to see! But hey he's my biggest accomplishment in life so he's a vital part of my story.
Did you know that the traumatic experience of giving birth can trigger an MS relapse?
I was a young mum (I didn't feel that way at the time), I was 26 and a go getter. Always busy, always working hard and wanting everything in life to happen right now. I worked almost up to the day that I gave birth (well the hospital was literally 5 minutes walk from my office), I then went back to work after 3 months due to being a contractor at the time and not being able to afford a long maternity leave.
The birth
I remember during my pre-natal classes the mid-wife telling us that they didn't like giving out epidurals as it meant you had to have someone with you the whole time, but I'm sorry, I have a high pain threshold but I am also not going to suffer unless I have too! I did try the birthing pool first but given I am only 4ft 11 the pool felt massive and every time I had a contraction I felt like I was going to drown. Next came the 'gym-ball' I am sorry, but on what planet does anyone think performing a yoga move is going to help with the pain?! I almost threw it back in the midwife's face but withheld myself. I think that was the point I said I would like an epidural now please, with the words "and don't tell me it's too late as I know you always say that to put people off" - success... 30 minutes later I was laying in a bed without any pain. Joy!
I guess what I hadn't factored in with my epidural is that I wouldn't be able to feel myself pushing and 2 hours later I was still pushing because they didn't want to cut me. I often wonder whether that continuous strain on my body was responsible for my neurological episode. In the end they cut me, so perhaps they should have saved my body the 2 hours of relentless pushing and just done that in the first place. In that moment, of course, it didn't matter - I had my beautiful baby boy (albeit with a cone head but that didn't last long!), all 7lbs 3oz of him and one week later than planned.
Four months later...
I went back to work in March 2003 and in April I had my first MS episode, although I had no idea at the time. I was suffering with some headaches and then I started having double-vision in my right eye (I think, please remember this was almost 18 years ago and my memory is a tad hazy on the facts). I saw my doctor, told her I was pretty sure it was down to having a new baby, being back at work full time and working in front of a computer all day long. She did suggest having an MRI but I decided my theory made sense and so didn't want to have one done. 6 weeks or so later, it happened again and this time I took her advice and went for the MRI.
Typical hypochondriac moment, I was convinced I had a brain tumour so basically panicked throughout the MRI
I am guessing it was a few weeks later when I received a letter saying my results were back and that I had an appointment with a neurologist. It was bad enough panicking during the scan but OMG this suddenly felt really scary. I remember my son's dad (ex-husband) wasn't able to come with me so I walked down to the hospital on my own. I can remember that appointment like it was yesterday. The consultant informed me that I had some inflammation on my brain and that combined with my eye episodes determined that I had benign MS* He told me to go away and forget about it and that it will probably never impact me... I could at this point be angry that he told me a pack of lies BUT I then spent 13 years until 2015 without any real impact and lived my life as if it was all 'not real'. So - in hindsight part of me can see the benefit of him saying this but then the other part of me thinks, I was naive to the realities of MS and perhaps I could have done more to slow down the future progression.
One thing you should also bear in mind, that in 2003 we had no smart phones, the Internet was much more basic than it is today. There wasn't hundreds of articles, support groups, forums etc... In some ways, not having all that information was a benefit. I am though, a true believer in everything happens for a reason, and had I lived my life thinking I had MS, researching MS and allowing it to consume me, perhaps I wouldn't be who I am today....
#taopatches #taopatch #multiplesclerosis #ms #health #neurologicaldisease #autoimmunedisease #livingwithms #themsgym #trevorwicken #osteopath #successstories #newyork #winter #relapse #msrelapse #lemtrada
* I've learnt a lot since then and there is no such thing as benign MS - you either have MS or you don't, the only different is whereabouts on that pathway you are
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